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Christy Marie · Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 1:45 am Post subject: Baby name change???????

Do you think that a baby who is named after his father should get his named changed to something the mother wants because she doesn't like to be reminded of her ex-husband when people say the babys name? Espically when the father is no longer involved in the babys life and doesn't pay child support? Please help me!

Justice · Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 4:10 am Post subject:

You will never be able to change the father/child relationship between them.

It is very difficult to think about forgiveness and overcoming in the middle of a trial. But, this will pass. Maybe in the future this man changes and takes more responsibility for his fatherly role. It is within the power and ability of the Savior to change any man.

I think the name isn't so important as your road to forgiveness.

In the end, only prayer will give you the proper course.
_________________
Just as a seed grows, we are sanctified by the word of God; it is planted in a broken heart, rooted by a contrite spirit, then nourished by willingness and watered by doing.

Madd Dawg · Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:10 am Post subject:

There is another choice. Since he is still a baby, he would adjust to a change. If he was given a second name, you could use that. You could use his initials; AJ, CJ, etc. You could give him a nick-name, so that you were not constantly reminded of the ex. All these things you could do without legally changing the name. Eventually, the pain and memories of your ex will subside, and you will see your son for the individual he is.
_________________
Love,
Madd Dawg

You can judge the heart of man by his treatment of animals.

Christy Marie · Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 4:24 pm Post subject: Reply to Madd Dawg

He actually goes by his inital's which are EJ but when I go into doctors appts they call him by his first name, even though I have asked them to call him EJ. So many people ask me what the EJ means and it makes me shrug, espically since his father was abusive I hate repeating it. What do I do at that point?

Madd Dawg · Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 5:18 pm Post subject:

You should firmly tell them...his name is EJ. They do not need to know any more than that.
Have the doctors, (actually, tell the secretaries and the nurses) to make the notation on his records, that he goes by EJ. You may have to do this several times, but it will be worth it.
I know how people and institutions get it in their minds that a first name is the RIGHT name! I go by my second name, and have done so ALL MY LIFE. People will actually say 'what is your real name?' That IS my real name, I tell them. The first day of school, every year, I would have to remind the teachers that I went by my middle name. But after the first day, it wasn't a problem. (I would not respond if they called another name. Not being obstinate, but because I did not associate that name as being me.)
When he does start school, you will go to the open-house that is held every year before the first day of school. You will meet his teacher, and you will let them know the name he goes by. Most forms have a line for that, in the school system.
What name does your child go by?________________ or
What does your child wish to be called?____________

Don't let anyone badger you, or intimidate you, into calling your son other than what you wish him to be called.
_________________
Love,
Madd Dawg

You can judge the heart of man by his treatment of animals.