Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 8:21 am Post subject: Homosexuality
I know that the church is against gays and lesbians, but i find myself attracted to the same sex more than the opposite. Even when I'm in places where I'm supposed to be (like church) its so tempting to refrain from sexual feelings for the same sex. I don't understand why its so abominable in the eyes of the Lord. If you love someone or have feelings for them, you really can't help it, no matter who they are. If we weren't ever supposed to love the same sex, why are some of us allowed to feel this way? Is it true that if you are gay, you can't be christian/mormon? Why are there gay lds churches out there? Are they false? Are there any members of the church who are also struggling with this problem? Am I asking too many questions?? If there are people like me in the church, I need to know what u do to face it. And to those who are not homosexual, I need to know why its so wrong and what you would do if you were in my place.
Still though... others are free to reply to this thread. I think some of the questions you ask were not covered in those other threads -- but most of them were.
We pray for you. God did not create you that way or give those feelings to you. Check out those other threads first. _________________ Bro. Roger L. Brown
Webmaster, LDS Friends Worldwide
I'm a homosexual, so let me try to give you a few answers
First, the Chruch does not condemn people with Same Sex Attraction (SSA). They do, however, condemn immorality - both homosexual and heterosexual. The Gay lifestyle is an immoral one, but that is not your only choice. You can choose to be a faithful member with SSA. There are many of us in the Church. We have callings, temple recommends, serve missions, and many even have families. The blessings of the Gospel are available to ALL who obey the commandments and have a desire for righteousness.
You did not choose to have feelings of attraction for the same sex. Scientists and doctors do not yet know why this condition develops. The Church teaches, however, that we are not "born that way". I know many homosexuals who have reduced or nearly eliminated their homosexual attractions. The Gay community will try to tell you that you can only be happy and "fulfilled" if you live a Gay lifestyle. But I know MANY men who have tried the "lifestyle", and after the initial thrills and indulgence, discovered it was a hollow, shallow life. This is because it is not founded on Gospel principles. "Wickedness never was happiness". Happiness comes when our lives are lived in harmony with the Gospel and we have the Spirit as our guide.
Now, you ask why we are allowed to have this problem? Well, why are we allowed to have any problems? Why do some people go blind? Why are little children killed in war? Why do some people suffer from mental illness? The answer to all of these, of course, is that this life IS a trial! We were not sent here on a cake walk! This is a serious test of our faith and will. Trials, temptations, and challenges are part of the plan for this mortal life. We read that even Christ "learned obedience by the things which He suffered". And so it is with us. Our trials and temptations can either become stumbling blocks, or they can become stepping stones which teach us humility, service, selflessnes, compassion, and love. It is up to us to choose how we face these trials, but we will ALL have them. No one escapes this life without trials and challenges. Sometimes we're tempted to think, "why me??" Perhaps we should really ask "why NOT me?" What makes any of us so special that we are immune to a certain problem? We're not. We may not choose our problems, but we CAN choose how we deal with them.
I would encourage you to explore some additional resources for LDS people with SSA (below). I hope you will read the statements and testimonies of others who struggle with SSA and find hope and courage from their experiences which you can apply in your own life. The Lord loves all of us equally. He is less concerned with our sexual orientation than he is about our sexual behavior. You can choose to follow His plan in spite of your SSA.
Although it has been a while since anybody has posted, I will respond anyway. I am 19 years old, I live in Idaho and have been through all sorts of inner struggles as regards gender myself. Although I am not homosexual per se, I am, or have been, transgendered and have had the terribly strong inclination to cross-dress. I say "have been" because I have struggled very VERY hard against it these past 3 years or so (when I started to feel this way) and have been able to bring it under control somewhat. However, like many other problems, it persists and I still feel inclined "dress" every now and then.
It is upsetting, it is distressing, I have been through many, many tears because of it, but I thank the Lord my God that he has given me the gospel, because that is the only real source comfort I have been able to get. I have the knowledge that I can overcome these feelings, "for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (1st Nephi 3:7).
I have often wondered whether I truly do have Gender Dysphoria or not (the medical term for transsexualism), but either way, I know that I am a child of God, that I was made in his image and that I can return to his presence to be like him if I obey his commandments. I KNOW THAT I CAN DO IT!
Don't be discouraged if you try to overcome your inclinations and fail at first. I have tried countless times to just "get over it" and failed. But I have been seeing a counsellor and that has really helped. It took me a looooong time to wind up the courage to do so, but he wasn't condemning, he wasn't like "REPENT OR YOU WILL GO TO HELL" or anything like that. Bear in mind though, that this was an LDS therapist and so he knows why I want to overome this and he understands my background. If you see a therapist, please see one who shares your values. Up here in South East Idaho they have some very good and sympathetic ones.
Anyway, I hope this helps. God bless you in all your efforts.
Andy
P.S. I would be more than willing to start an open correspondence if you like. The one thing we need the most as we go through our struggles is friends. I can be one of those friends if you would like.
i hope you find the answers your looking for and although your going to run into people that have a real hard time with it and give you a hard time you will find that not everybody is closed minded and closed hearted and a lot of people will not turn you away .. you just need to find the You that you need to exists with and that is the only thing that matters faith,love,and acceptance will come later. just know that not everybody is agianst you. i might not be gay but i would never turn away from a friend or a loved one if they happend to be
Hi Dark_angel, you know what, i'm kinda experiencing the same situations and asks the same questions, however, a hope came to me once when i was going with the missionary... and we kinda bump into this kind of topic because here in our country, homosexuals are very much liberated- they even wear female clothing... and really, as time pass, they are getting more and more courageous about showing who really they are... it's like an abrupt change in the thoughts of people here that they accepted homosexual. that if any homosexuals who are from other countries would migrate here, instead of thinking to change their lifestyle, they would easily be tempted to go with the flow...- you know why i said i found hope as we converse, because this is what he said, "there really exists same gender attraction but if we will heed to the temptations of satan- temptations of the flesh- that is the only time homosexuality in ourselves begin... and that is an abominable sin" so i told my self... he's right... that as i evaluate in his words, feeling are feelings.. and they are, i know that they are, controllable... hard, but possible. but if that feeling is enacted it is a very different thing... i agree with the words of realneal... and i also found courage in his words...
here's a tip how you could remove it in yourself and think more of the eternal blessing of the Lord... always think that what you are feeling is just what you feel, for as long as we don't heed the LIFESTYLE, we are not those kind of people... like how do you feel being called as a Son of the Lord or even just a Son of your parents... are you happy? for me, i am very much... now, will you deny the priviledge of other souls who are waiting in the premortal existence to be here on earth that should be through you? or would you be selfish to our heavenly Father and brothers and sisters who are still unborn, that you experienced being here and they did not? won't you help Heavenly Father in his plan? wouldn't you use a great gift He has given you?
another thing is(THIS WORKED TO ME, I DON'T KNOW FOR OTHERS), if you have a really close male best friend who is also in the church, that you respect, that you treat as your own brother, now, if you take the call of the flesh, heed in Satan's way... imagine if he's(friend) the one your messing... wouldn't it be disgraceful, very destructive and horrible, shameful, wordless... it would be very unthinkable... my dear friend, if you will just imagine these things as WASTE... as a total WRECKER of one's dream... like the feeling the is really creepy... now, if you feel this way, you could lie to yourself until you learn... learning that you are born as a son and should stay as one...
also, gospel learning would help you... specially when you are with you fellow young men in the church... at least, your focus is in the words of the Lord... and if you do something uncultured, there is a force that would help and comfort you through your desires... remember, don't be selfish to your future families... start by standing for what is right... stand brother.... be true, be faithful, be loyal, and i promise you that the Lord will really pour his blessings on you
I dont know if youre still using this site or not, but I have some thoughts I would like to share with you. I have had similar inclinations and as you have stated, it is never easy to deal with these. The best things that I have found to help are as follows: talk to your bishop, even if there is no sin involved, bishops are a great help. Keep going to church and follow its teachings. As you begin to learn more of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you will grow stronger and be able to overcome or over power the struggles in your life. The most important thing that I have found to work, turn everything over to Heavenly Father and let him take it from there. Trusting in Heavenly Father even in the hardest of times is something that we must learn to do as He is all knowing and has a great plan for each and everyone of us if we put turn to him. Opening the doors so that my Savior can walk beside, is the best strength and blessing that I have ever received, he is there for you as well.
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If there are people like me in the church, I need to know what u do to face it. And to those who are not homosexual, I need to know why its so wrong and what you would do if you were in my place. 
